My Better Half
On the road of life, together...
Specific:
Recently Alison and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. The day passed as most others, without much fanfare or pomp and circumstance. We didn't even get each other the compulsory anniversary gifts advocated by Hallmark (this being the fifth year, the traditional anniversary gift is "wood," and the contemporary gift is "silverware;" Go figure...).
I love being married to Alison. If any of you reading this know her personally, then I don't really have to explain why. When I first met her, I knew there was something different about her. She had an energy that people rarely if ever have. When most of us walk through life lethargic, she walks through life with a vivaciousness that I cannot match. That is what drew me to her and continues to draw me. Out of all the billions of people that I could have potentially married, I am continually grateful to God that He allowed me to marry Alison, the love of my life. Plus, she's shorter than me, which is a delightful peripheral quality to someone of my "stature."
General:
I've been thinking a lot about marriage and the biblical verses that speak of marriage. I have recently been captivated by the verse that speaks to husbands in 1 Peter 3. I've found that this one verse is full of ambiguity as well as deep meaning, and if one takes the time to fully mine it, one will be rewarded with an enriched view of husbands and marriage. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.
1 Peter 3:7 : "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."
I don't know about you, but I've read this verse through a lot of times without fully comprehending the depths of its meaning or studying its intricacies. I think that too often this is the case when we read our Bibles. Well, not anymore!
We, as husbands, are told to live with our wives with understanding, or knowledge, or consideration. Part of that consideration is met by giving honor to the wife. Peter then gives us two reasons why we should honor our wives:
1. Because she is the weaker vessel
2. Because she is an heir with us of the grace of life
And warns us what will happen if we don't honor our wives:
1. Our prayers will be hindered
Sure to enrage the feminists is the moniker given to the wife: "weaker vessels." I know a lot of Christian men and women who have troubled themselves with that description of a woman as well, and have therefore tried to soften the words in various ways. One thing Christians say is that when Peter speaks of wives as "weaker vessels," he simply means physically weaker, e.g. this commentator:
"The husband must ever keep in mind that she is the weaker instrument of the two, not morally or intellectually, but physically. This attitude toward the wife on the part of the husband therefore includes loving consideration of the wife in view of the fact that she is not physically as strong as he is." Now, this will still enrage the feminists, but it does set a lot of Christian minds at ease. This interpretation appeals to the use of the word "vessel" as signifying the physical shell of a human being merely, so that a weaker vessel simply means weaker body. It can also be "proved" by looking out at the world, though in a general sense rather than an exhaustive one. For instance, I can bench press more than my wife. Some men who aren't as buffed as I am cannot (Read: Joke).
Is this, however, what Peter is really saying? That giving honor to the wife as the "weaker vessel" means opening the ketchup bottle and moving boxes into the attic, or beating up people that are flirting with her? I can concede that it is a possibility, though I find it difficult to believe that this was all Peter was getting at. But when we begin to look at alternatives to this generally accepted meaning, we step immediately into water that is both hot and deep. Which is why people typically don't move beyond this proposed meaning.
In what way can a woman be said to be weaker? Remember first that weaker doesn't mean inferior. It means simply that God has chosen different roles and strengths for the husband and wife. A sledgehammer is stronger than a teacup, but if Abby invites me to a tea party I won't be very well-suited for the occasion. Conversely, if I need to break some cement, a slegehammer might perform a little better in the long run. Does that make either one inferior? But of course not. So:
Is she weaker in a social sense, in that she doesn't have as many social rights (at least in Peter's time)?
Is she weaker spiritually? I don't think that can honestly be the case, simply because a majority of the Scriptures mitigate against the idea of spiritual superiority or inferiority.
Is she weaker emotionally? It depends on what you mean. My wife has often wondered if I even have emotions, and I don't think she is alone in that train of thought. Does the ability to think about possible solutions to a problem without emotion make one "stronger" emotionally? Is it because women are generally more influenced and under the sway of their emotions?
When we were speaking about this, my wife brought up an awesome point. She was amazed that some Christian women leered at being called "weaker." Her point was that in the Bible we are all called weak. The Bible is not for someone who wants to feel good about themselves. We are called names much more debasing than "weaker" throughout its pages. Rather than feeling icky about being called "weaker," women should revel in it. "For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called." Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked...'
I did not mean for this to stretch so long, so I'll have to finish up my thoughts about 1 Peter 3:7 later. Funny, I didn't even get to what I really wanted to talk to...
Recently Alison and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. The day passed as most others, without much fanfare or pomp and circumstance. We didn't even get each other the compulsory anniversary gifts advocated by Hallmark (this being the fifth year, the traditional anniversary gift is "wood," and the contemporary gift is "silverware;" Go figure...).
I love being married to Alison. If any of you reading this know her personally, then I don't really have to explain why. When I first met her, I knew there was something different about her. She had an energy that people rarely if ever have. When most of us walk through life lethargic, she walks through life with a vivaciousness that I cannot match. That is what drew me to her and continues to draw me. Out of all the billions of people that I could have potentially married, I am continually grateful to God that He allowed me to marry Alison, the love of my life. Plus, she's shorter than me, which is a delightful peripheral quality to someone of my "stature."
General:
I've been thinking a lot about marriage and the biblical verses that speak of marriage. I have recently been captivated by the verse that speaks to husbands in 1 Peter 3. I've found that this one verse is full of ambiguity as well as deep meaning, and if one takes the time to fully mine it, one will be rewarded with an enriched view of husbands and marriage. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.
1 Peter 3:7 : "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."
I don't know about you, but I've read this verse through a lot of times without fully comprehending the depths of its meaning or studying its intricacies. I think that too often this is the case when we read our Bibles. Well, not anymore!
We, as husbands, are told to live with our wives with understanding, or knowledge, or consideration. Part of that consideration is met by giving honor to the wife. Peter then gives us two reasons why we should honor our wives:
1. Because she is the weaker vessel
2. Because she is an heir with us of the grace of life
And warns us what will happen if we don't honor our wives:
1. Our prayers will be hindered
Sure to enrage the feminists is the moniker given to the wife: "weaker vessels." I know a lot of Christian men and women who have troubled themselves with that description of a woman as well, and have therefore tried to soften the words in various ways. One thing Christians say is that when Peter speaks of wives as "weaker vessels," he simply means physically weaker, e.g. this commentator:
"The husband must ever keep in mind that she is the weaker instrument of the two, not morally or intellectually, but physically. This attitude toward the wife on the part of the husband therefore includes loving consideration of the wife in view of the fact that she is not physically as strong as he is." Now, this will still enrage the feminists, but it does set a lot of Christian minds at ease. This interpretation appeals to the use of the word "vessel" as signifying the physical shell of a human being merely, so that a weaker vessel simply means weaker body. It can also be "proved" by looking out at the world, though in a general sense rather than an exhaustive one. For instance, I can bench press more than my wife. Some men who aren't as buffed as I am cannot (Read: Joke).
Is this, however, what Peter is really saying? That giving honor to the wife as the "weaker vessel" means opening the ketchup bottle and moving boxes into the attic, or beating up people that are flirting with her? I can concede that it is a possibility, though I find it difficult to believe that this was all Peter was getting at. But when we begin to look at alternatives to this generally accepted meaning, we step immediately into water that is both hot and deep. Which is why people typically don't move beyond this proposed meaning.
In what way can a woman be said to be weaker? Remember first that weaker doesn't mean inferior. It means simply that God has chosen different roles and strengths for the husband and wife. A sledgehammer is stronger than a teacup, but if Abby invites me to a tea party I won't be very well-suited for the occasion. Conversely, if I need to break some cement, a slegehammer might perform a little better in the long run. Does that make either one inferior? But of course not. So:
Is she weaker in a social sense, in that she doesn't have as many social rights (at least in Peter's time)?
Is she weaker spiritually? I don't think that can honestly be the case, simply because a majority of the Scriptures mitigate against the idea of spiritual superiority or inferiority.
Is she weaker emotionally? It depends on what you mean. My wife has often wondered if I even have emotions, and I don't think she is alone in that train of thought. Does the ability to think about possible solutions to a problem without emotion make one "stronger" emotionally? Is it because women are generally more influenced and under the sway of their emotions?
When we were speaking about this, my wife brought up an awesome point. She was amazed that some Christian women leered at being called "weaker." Her point was that in the Bible we are all called weak. The Bible is not for someone who wants to feel good about themselves. We are called names much more debasing than "weaker" throughout its pages. Rather than feeling icky about being called "weaker," women should revel in it. "For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called." Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked...'
I did not mean for this to stretch so long, so I'll have to finish up my thoughts about 1 Peter 3:7 later. Funny, I didn't even get to what I really wanted to talk to...
posted by Team Kerbel @ 12:16 PM
15 Comments:
Congratulations on your 5th Wedding Anniversary! More loving years to come! :D
BA~~68
Too bad you lost that race. Better luck next time, yo...
Stumbled across your blog...enjoyed your entry on marriage. My wife, Kelly and I just celebrated our 6th.
The amazing thing about it all is that due to my "strength," I had constantly pushed and exhausted myself before marriage...no reflection, no rest.
To pace my wife's lifestyle and outlook on life, which is still very aggressive...just different, it has caused major adjustment for me. I am blessed, much more rested, and much more tempered in my approach to other people.
Christ reminds us that it is through weakness that His strength is manifest...great blog...great thoughts.
Congrats you guys!
you made it past that 5 year mark but you must persevere past the 7 year itch!
heh heh
once you get to be old farts like Dan and I...
Sweet post Simon. Now,just in case you haven't already done it, go and TELL her those very same sweet things that you said about her, on your blog. The "I love being married to Allison" part was about the nicest thing I've read, oh, at least all day.
My wife is certainly not weaker when it comes to her spirituality. I am so inspired by her walk with the Lord. Maybe she does so well because she's better at realizing her weakness than I am at realizing mine.
First, congratulations on 5 years. My wife and I will be celebrating our 2nd a week from today.
Well put in your post, my friend. I was having some reflections on this same topic and while I have some different things to say, I must add that I agree with what you've said here.
I'm like Travis...stumbled by and really enjoyed the entry.
Melanie--
I'm surprised this post didn't make you uncomfortable as you don't like it when people "gush" about their spouses?
Hmph.
Perhaps this one wasn't as sappy as some?
*wink*
Beautiful post, thank you! I revel in being the "weaker vessel." :)
And I love the way you love your wife. Oh, how that honors the Lord! Blessings on the two of you on your 5th anniversary.
wow dude..you're such a lamb lost in the false warmth of illogical bundle of men-made conflicting pieces called bible..
The material boy - thanks for the congrats.
Winner Legge - you only won because you had Autumn as a passenger. It's all about the weight differential.
Travis - awesome comments, thanks for 'stumbling' by. It's true, the older I get, the more even-handed and level-headed I become (thanks in large part to my wife).
Sadie Lou - the seven year itch? Sounds painful. Speaking of gushing, didn't you write a post about Dan a while back?
Melanie - Glad to have been your highlight for, oh, the day.
Jeff, Bill and Jill - Amen!
Eko - I'd say I'm more like a lamb wrapped in the loving arms of the Savior. Call me what you will - but don't knock it till you try it.
I'm outy...
Celebrating 7 in a month or so. I've enjoyed the posts I have read on your blog recently. I'll check back again from time to time. You have some great writing.
Sadie Lou - the seven year itch? Sounds painful. Speaking of gushing, didn't you write a post about Dan a while back?
I did and Melanie wouldn't post on it because she is uncomfortable by spouses "gushing" about their spouses. I was trying to get Melanie's goat.
c'mere goatie!
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